Category Archives: Fathers

A Father Has Compassion on His Children

“As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.” Psalm 103:13

Why would God choose us to be examples of how He works? Because it is so obvious… a father must have compassion on his children.

The father has been there since the beginning of the relationship with the child’s mom- your wife. We were there before the relationship began, and we were the reason, from a purely mechanical perspective, that God used to bring the child into the world to begin with… not to denigrate the position and role of the wife at all. Obviously children wouldn’t exist without both.

We understand our wives’ frailty, and then we see our children born into the world… more frailty… and that in a world that suffers from the curse and the fall. We as men must see ourselves as the protector, but the protector of what? The protector of the weak and frail against those things, forces, elements that would destroy them or render them incapable of both surviving and thriving. We are the reason that our wives can nurture. Yes, she has her role, but that doesn’t diminish ours.

And that role is compassion.

Because we have compassion, we deal kindly with others’ weaknesses, especially with your wife and your children. We have compassion because we also know our own weaknesses. Compassion isn’t weak, but is mindful of weakness and responds with strength in relationship to that weakness.

There is a time and a place to “stand up and be a man” in terms of the rock-like steadiness that is expected of a man. But the hardness is a reliability, like a rock, that serves as the basis for your wife and children to be able to have a life that is capable of surviving in this world. It isn’t a harshness that results in animosity and ostracization, but trustworthiness. It is a shield to them that protects them and gives them a bubble of protection against that which is ugly, perverse and evil in this world.

This rock like nature is derived by men from their relationship to the Father through the LORD Jesus Christ.

Dads

In this article, I discuss two verses in scripture that revolve around the issue of the father of the household’s children.

In so many different ways in our culture, the father (dad) gets little respect. For the most part, that lack of honoring, and at times downright hostility, is actually deserved. There are two main components that will be necessary in order to be the kind of Dad that the Lord wants us to be. The first is compassion and the second is willingness to listen.

“Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.” Psalm 103:13

“Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers,” 1 Timothy 5:1

A compassionate father considers the reality of the situation that he is dealing with in his children. He knows their faults and shortcomings, but he also remembers that they are children. He remembers that they haven’t lived as much life as he has, and he considers his own weaknesses in being alive and a sinner. Though redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ, he still sins at different times and in different ways.

Although he is the standard bearer and the ‘buck stops with’ him, he remembers that his children need grace, mercy and kindness, just as he himself would want it in the same type of situation if he were in it.

As an exercise, try to imagine yourself as being in your child’s shoes, but instead of it being the current situation at hand, imagine it as being with your own boss / employer / client. How would you want them to respond toward you if you had completed the same type of action that your child (just) did? How would you want them to handle it? What would you want them to say and do?

Next, the father is a listener. More than merely the sounds of the words bouncing off of your ears, being a listener is an active process, with the goal of seeking to understand the thing that is being brought up… not necessarily to defend oneself from the accusation, but simply to understand.

We should be able to understand the things that have created the situation as it is. Additionally, we should try to take the time to understand the emotional response of those who are in it. We should take into consideration the various interpersonal relational dynamics involved in the situation. We then should remember that we are also human and sinners.

While peace is important and generally it isn’t worth losing a relationship about a certain issue, whatever it is, it is also important to keep a firm grasp on the truth of the situation, regardless of what it is. If the failure is perceptual, apologizing may not be a bad way to deal with it. Sometimes, simply acknowledging your human propensity to sin may go a long way in setting things right-side up again.

Regardless, you need to indicate to the person bringing the concern up that you understand the dynamics, as well as the ramifications of your actions. You should try to minimize the effects if at all possible and even return things to the state they were before.

So much of what we do in this life revolves around the issue of cleaning up messes- those of our own and those of others. We want to be sure to do a good job, and thereby leave a lasting legacy of trust and faithfulness to the future generations, and especially to those of our own household.

Getting Ready for Christ’s Return

This post will address the things you should be considering and doing in preparation for Jesus’s imminent return.

It has been about two thousand years since He was here. There are many troubles in the world which seem to be escalating at a more intense pace. Seems rather likely that these events are like labor pains… you know – they start out mild at first. If they are real pains, they don’t diminish in frequency or intensity, rather they increase. He said that when it was close to the time of His return, that it would be similar to a woman in labor:

“But all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs.” Matthew 24:8

Without getting into a debate about eschatology (the study of the end times), I want to address a practical issue in this post- what should we as Christians be doing, minimally, to be ready for His return?

When I say ‘minimally’, I say that to address the possibility that the Christians won’t go through the tribulation. If we won’t go through the tribulation, the next thing that we will be doing is meeting Jesus Christ in the clouds.

If at all possible, I want to be ready for that meeting, especially before I start stockpiling cans of beans and all of the other survival tactics that are being sold out there :)

The following is a list of things you want to make sure that you are doing or have done in preparation for His return:

  • Do your work as unto God, not as man pleasers – God is your ultimate audience and Christ is your judge. You need to do your work as if He was standing there watching you. The reality of the situation is that He actually is. You need to get especially ‘lazy’ and neglect doing things that don’t bring value to your employer. Give your employer an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. If you haven’t been doing this kind of work, you need to repent – change and do the right thing.
  • Love your wife as Christ Loves the Church – The reason Christ is coming back is to get His church (John 14:3). His church is His bride. Do you want your meeting Christ to be a joyful occasion (like a honeymoon), or a dreadful occasion? Well, love your wife the way that you want Christ to show favor to you when He returns.
  • Turn Your heart toward those of your children – Love your children. Care about the things that they are thinking, feeling, experiencing. Disciple them and train them toward righteousness and Godliness by your example first, but not neglecting your words.
  • Read the Bible, pray, memorize scripture – These are ways that you can be growing in your knowledge and understanding, so that you will be wise.
  • Fellowship with other believers – The church is a helper in your sanctification. Don’t neglect to be with other Christians.
  • Evangelize the Lost – You need to be faithful to God and share the most excellent thing that God has done for you – namely, He has forgiven your wretched soul from the penalty that you deserve… an eternity forever of burning in the lake of fire. You should be willing to extend that same love and concern for your neighbors as God facilitates opportunity and as you actively seek opportunity.
  • Walk by the Spirit – When God saved you, He gave you all of the Holy Spirit you need in order to live a life that is pleasing to Him. Without getting into any funkiness, you need to be turning from sinfulness and things that easily trip you up, and turn toward righteousness… this done not in a way thinking that this will justify you (it won’t), but remembering that because He saved you and granted precious promises to you, it is the least that you should do. If you actually love Jesus, it will look like obedience to His commands.
  • Delight in the Lord – It’s about to get really bad for many people. You could be a part of the ‘badness’ that is coming on the world leading up to the hours of his return. Regardless, you should be finding all of your joy, peace, happiness and contentment in Him, His will, His words, His work and His ways, doing all that you do with Love in your heart toward Him that shows itself in working for others to help them.

So, there you have it- these are the ways that I think it would be extremely helpful for you to be practicing and walking in should His return be sooner rather than later. By the way, these things are good if He return later as well. :)